This week: from the breathtaking top of a mountain to the low of a slow-moving ravine.
By Friday I felt like everything was falling into place. I had so much energy and positivity and strength accumulated from a week of feeling awesome – I boldly told the world bring it on! I felt unstoppable at the weight rack. I lifted 2 PRs even though I haven’t been training barbell lifts more than 3 times a month. 155 deadlift and 125 squat. I did some form of exercise every day except Sunday, when I forced myself to take a rest day. And that’s when I lost my momentum. I had gotten out of the habit of a midday nap – that energy crash is something I’m working to remedy with my dietary and lifestyle changes. I took desperately needed naps on both Saturday and Sunday. Monday I was unexplainably stressed, unmotivated, and unable to be satisfied or present. I even made it through an entire yoga class feeling anxious and unable to loose myself in the moment – the challenge of the poses and the breath usually force me to reset to a calmer mentality. I’m worrying about money, career and future instead of enjoying what I have before me. I know that a degree of planning and working towards something is necessary for forward movement but sometimes the contemplation of it overwhelms me into inactivity and anxiety.
So I turned to Mark Nepo for inspiration:
It seems that any moment of interest or pain or adversity can surprise us into the larger totality of life, breaking our current limits and allowing us the chance to redefine ourselves in regard to the larger sense that is upon us. That we are opened – so suddenly, so often – is the way the soul unfolds on Earth.
We can never be prepared for everything. No one person can anticipate all of life. In fact, overpreparation is yet another way to wall ourselves in from life. Rather, we can only prepare for how we might respond to the gift of surprise that often moves in on us faster than our reflex to resist.
I’m such a planner, these words are very difficult to hear. Yet it also feels as if he’s written them just for me.
Our humble way, if we can open it, is to root ourselves beneath the thousand dreams and excuses that keep us from the ground we walk. Time and again, we are asked to outlast what we want and hope for, in order to see what’s there. It is enough.
Yes! This is my work for the last week of the Whole30: Find my roots, get clear & honest with myself (I’ve given my body a clean slate to work from, use this!), stop the cycle of over-planning and over-worrying into crazed paralysis, appreciate myself for where I am in the process, don’t resist surprise.
While feeling motivated this week, I cooked up some delicious creations:
Sun dried tomatoes are quickly becoming one of my favorite specialty items to have around the house. Our fridge got pretty barren by the end of the week and I had to start pulling things from the freezer and the cupboards. Sun dried tomatoes were making their way into everything to add a little extra veggie and flavor. This frittata was so delicious that I didn’t hardly notice the egg flavor 🙂
Coco Cabbage Salmon Salad – an instant classic in my book! Here’s the recipe (serves 2):
2 cup Red cabbage
1 can Salmon
3 T Coconut flakes
1/2 cup Green olives (I used jalapeno & garlic stuffed, but any kind would do)
2 T Cilantro
1 T Lemon juice
1 T Olive oil
1/2 T Apple cider vinegar
Salt & Pepper
Chop it all up and mix it all together – easy peasy!