A year has passed, and returning to the blog gives cause to reflect. My original intention in creating this was vague…to write, to think, to question. I had some odd hope that putting my reflections on the internet would somehow bring me closer to understanding what I am in this world to do. I will always be searching, exploring, questioning, scheming and dreaming, but looking back I realize I’m in a different stage of that now than I was at the beginning of Write Love On Yourself. Of all the changes and adventures of this past year, I consider that one of my biggest accomplishments. I don’t feel that odd uncomfortable uprootedness I experienced for most of 2011. Not to say that I’m settled by any means, but I’m more at home in the current moment. I feel content to know what I know and go with what feels right now. I’m less attached to the worry of what if what makes me happy now won’t make me happy later? That thinking was a part of what kept me treading water for so long. At some point I got sick of allowing my fear to keep me from going anywhere and decided to just start doing things and loosen my attachment to the longevity of any particular direction I choose to head.
At this moment, on this day in my life, the title of the blog and my childhood poem take on a different meaning than before. Now, writing love on yourself is about honoring your body, loving yourself enough to give it the nourishment it needs and taking the time to figure out what causes you to feel your very best every day. It means allowing our physical selves to reflect our inner selves. Most importantly, as the poem says, it’s about trusting that love has already been written on you: you are effortlessly perfect and healthy and if you can learn to listen, your body is already telling you all you need to know.
Over the past year and a half, I have transformed my body and embraced a longtime passion for nutrition and fitness. My physical strength gives me immense confidence and courage, and has lit a fire inside me that I hope to never again allow to die out. I have decidedly deemed my most important long-term goal to be the ability to move well and feel strong for the rest of my life. Being active, taking the time to cook, eating whole food, and prioritizing my health have brought me to a sustaining level of happiness and new creative outlets. After months of planning my days around what workout I would do and what delicious food I would prepare for myself, I have come to realize that this passion is worth exploring on other levels. Therefore, I am embarking on a journey of fitness and nutrition education, with the intention of becoming a wellness coach providing personal training and dietary guidance. I have no idea if this is the “perfect career” for me, but it is exactly what I want to be doing right now, and that is all that matters!
As I look out on the year ahead of me and all I will be learning, I feel it is important to take record of my process. I’m hopeful that this blog will provide me with a way to share my experience, educate as I learn, and provide space for conversation if others wish to add their voice to the mix.